Down:
Tuesday: went back to work. Cried all the way there.
Up:
It wasn’t bad once I was there. Everyone wanted to see pictures. NSG called with updates about the boy every couple of hours. He did great: smiley and laid-back all day at work with her.
Down:
Thursday was payback day. Roo was wiped out from his last few days. Too tired to eat, to hungry to sleep. I was bone-tired from a mere two days at work and wanted to be the one held and fed and loved. But he needed it more. We both spent half half the morning in tears.
Up:
In desperation, I put Roo in the magic carrier and took him to the park for a long, long walk. Less than half a mile in, he fell asleep. The park was stunning, all crispy leaves and auburns and golds and greens. I stood on a hilltop for almost a half hour, looking around, seeing no one, just breathing in and out – finally – and loving this little being snuggled into my chest beyond all reason.
Down:
Friday I stomped around the house feeling crabby and grumpy. Couldn’t quite figure out why. Was not very nice to a certain someone who didn’t deserve crabbiness and grumpiness.
Dreamt I was driving with Roo and suddenly realized he was in my lap, not in his car seat (see Spears, Britney) and panicked because I couldn’t find somewhere to pull over so I could put him safely into his seat.
Down:
Still crabby and grumpy on Saturday. Finally managed to get it all dealt with somewhat productively.
Up:
Date night! We actually went out without Roo for the first time. Roo hung out with his grandparents and trained them to change his diaper every time he cried – 4 times in under 4 hours, actually. We saw Cirque du Soleil, which made me want to go straight home and jump around and do flips on the bed. Leaving the house together, without Roo, was almost surreal – we had 6 years without him and 11 weeks with him, but we still had to remind ourselves how to be together as two.
Damn, we’re good.
Now Monday: we start over. It’s so good, but someone please tell me: this will all get a little easier too, right?
October 15, 2006 at 11:08 pm
it does.
Really. and when they get older and you get home from work they run to meet you at the door with hugs and it’s all worth it.
October 16, 2006 at 12:37 am
It really does get easier. Well, not so much easier as more known and therefor more handleable. What a lucky roo!
October 16, 2006 at 8:23 pm
Yes, it really does get easier. And techie’s comment reminds me that one of the things I love, love, love about being a working mother is the way Curious Girl runs to meet me when I pick her up after school. Some things get more handleable, sure, but I think that it’s easier, too, since 3 years into the parenting gig I am clearer about what I want to accomplish at work and just more secure with all my roles.(mileage varies: each of us will have different experiences, needless to say).
October 17, 2006 at 9:38 pm
Yes, it does and WILL get easier. And harder. But it is worth it.
October 20, 2006 at 1:28 pm
I don’t know about the work thing (but Cole did it with NO breaks in her teaching schedule). But I can assure you the rest gets easier. It gets easier especially around six to nine months. That will fly by, don’t despair.
Oh, and sleep every single chance. Skip the laundry, skip the dishes, skip the reading list, skip your favorite tv show and just catch as many minutes of sleep as you can, when you can, no matter what. It really, really helps. It helps with the grouchy, especially.