Yada yada yada

So many meaty posts in my head, but not nearly enough sleep to organize them coherently. So for now…

Roo has a wicked case of thrush. We’ve run up one wall and down the other trying to figure out how he has thrush when we’ve been just beyond compulsive about sterilizing, etc. etc. etc., but there you have it. His whole tongue and the inside of his lips are all white, and he smells like old milk. I miss that baby breath. Luckily, I don’t have it, but if anyone has any tips for how to breastfeed without getting it and then sharing it back and forth with him, PLEASE don’t hold back with the advice (and really, it’s advice, not assvice).

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Happy new year to my fellow Hebes in blogland! We spent Saturday in the true Jewish tradition – we went to synagogue and then stuffed our faces with the machitunem.* One of the things that always feels like home to me when I go to synagogue is looking around and seeing that almost everyone there has either hair like mine or a big Jewfro. It feels like family. And Roo, though in the minority with his mocha skin, is in good company in that congregation – there are so many transracial families (adopted and bio) there that he doesn’t even stand out. It’s one of the things I really love about the congregation.

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My wife can go from pajamas with food all over her face to showered and spiffy and waiting at the door in under 15 minutes, while I, who started 45 minutes before her, run around the house having a clothing crisis. Six years into our relationship, I still get hysterical about how long she waits to start getting ready and nag her incessantly about not being late. This is not one of my finer qualities. Will I ever learn to relax about it?

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First post-placement visit tonight. This social worker knows about our moving violations, our last 8 million jobs, and the balance of every bank account we have, and still saw fit to place a baby with us, and what am I worried about? The curry I’m making tonight. Because clearly if I spice it poorly, she’ll deem us unfit parents.

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Two more weeks until I go back to work. I can’t think of anything more articulate to say about this than NO NO NO NO NO PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GO PLEASE NO!

Any words of wisdom from you working parents out there?

******

* If you’re not Jewish and you can leave me the definition of machitunem in the comments without looking it up, you win… a neeeewwww car!

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15 Responses to Yada yada yada

  1. charlotte says:

    Don’t go back to work. Sorry that is not helpful, but not entirely sarcastic. Work less if you can. It is worth being poor! Really.

  2. Johnny says:

    gotta be some unleavened, baked thing-a-ma-jigie.

  3. I absolutely agree, honestly, if I couldn’t do what I’m doing from home, I wouldn’t be working either & I’m a SINGLE parent! These first five years will fly by without you so much as blinking an eye & you can’t get them back. And from someone who missed the first 14 months of my daughter’s life, I’m here to say, anything you need to do (ie: cut back on things that you don’t really need like dinners out, movie rentals, fancy clothes etc…) whatever it may be, make the decision to just not need them because at the end of the day, that beautiful little face smiling up at you with white mouth & all is better than all those other ‘extras’ rolled into one. Please trust me on this… find a way, pool all your resources together & stay home with your little man… all too soon he won’t be so little anymore & you’ll wonder what was so important about going back to work anyway.

    -Amy & Ruby Cate

  4. Erin says:

    I might be in the minority here, but I enjoy working! It was definitely EXTREMELY hard to go back to work when P was a baby. J and I were very fortunate in our scheduling so that P was only in daycare 4-5 hours a day until he was just past 2, then I had 4 months home with him (between finishing Ph.D. and starting teaching), and now he’s there about 5-6 hours a day, with two longer days a week. He really enjoys playing with the other kids all day. Also, since P is probably destined to be an only child until he’s at least 4, it’s helping him learn to share and play nicely with other kids. He’s also learned a tremendous amount in school.

    With all that said, I’m also extremely lucky that my schedule is such that I can pick him up at 2:30 three days a week and will have 3 months every summer with him full-time. So I kind of get to have both worlds. It’s still hard to leave him, but it helps to see how much he enjoys it, to hear the new songs he sings when he comes home, see all the new artwork that he’s done, and to have him tell me all about the things he did with his friends that day.

    I hope the post-placement visit goes swimmingly!

  5. afrindiemum says:

    the going back to work thing sucks. i remember it all too well. i’m sorry.

    have you tried gentian violet for the thrush?

  6. art-sweet says:

    Hope the curry and the visit turn out smashingly! I am laughing my head off at Johnny’s definition of machitunem and am glad you have some nice ones you enjoy.

    And I have no advice on either front… except that both sound sucky.

  7. art-sweet says:

    oh and happy happy new year.

    May they all be as sweet!

  8. DS-L says:

    No advice for thrush. Sorry. Going back to work — the very best child care you can afford so you don’t worry. I always used a nanny for convenience and the one on one, but others are good as long as you trust them. Then — just do it. Babies are OK when their Moms work, as long as Mom is accessible and present when she is home. Period.
    DS-L

  9. irshlas says:

    First of all – Happy New Year!!
    Second – the visit will go fine and curry will be scrumptious!
    Third – (and apparently I’m the goofball to fall for it) I’m thinking I’m the shiksa that’s got to say I tried looking it up and found absolutely no matches….. so come on… fess up…… what’s machitunem ?? (And remember this is coming from the girl who lives where there’s a Baptist Church every 20 feet. Seriously, I think it’s a law.)

  10. roundisfunny says:

    Heh.
    Machitunem is actually completely unrelated to matzah, Johnny, but an excellent guess. It’s the yiddish word for your in-law’s extended family – the people who aren’t exactly your family but are your family’s family and who end up around the table at every holiday.

  11. Jean says:

    Hers my tips for dealing with thrush. First know that Nystatin doesn’t work that great, get a script for Miconazole gel,for both you and him, works much better. If you are diligant about using an antifungal cream or wash on your breast after feeding, you should not get it. Also add some yoguart with live cultures to your diet and smear some in his mouth after every feeding. This I found helps clear it up the fastest. Yoguart is one of the best natural remedies. Good luck though.

  12. Michele says:

    Yep yougurt. Its the best thing. Eat it, smear it in his mouth…bathe in it (kidding) Id go for something plain or vanilla as he probably wont love anything fruity.Just make double sure it has live cultures (I always get one of those great organic super tree hugger brands.. it feels like it would have more live cultures than yoplait.. although its probably the same)

    As far as going back to work goes. I am an inhome childcre provider.. and became one when my friends were having problems going back to work after thier babies were born.( and when we couldnt afford all the childcare costs for my own kids!) I make sure to document each day really well. When a baby does something new I video it… I send email pictures and work hard to make sure Mom knows whats going on every day.Each kid has his own baby book that I record special moments in.

    You shouldnt feel guilty about working. Kids who have good childcare turn out just as well as ones who are at home with mommy. I love my daycare kids like they were my own.

    Try easing into leaving him.. take him to his caregiver a few hours at a time leading up to the actual day.. he will get to know his caregiver and for you it will make the transition easier. If hes been there a few times it wont be so traumatic on the first day back

    ha ha.. thats enough assvice from me today!

  13. Liza says:

    No thrush advice, I’m afraid, but maybe talk to Roo’s ped before giving him yogurt. Some babies are dairy-sensitive.

    The first week or so of being back at work is hard. The first day is really hard. But I find that I am more patient and appreciative of Noah and our time together than I would be if I were home full time. (That’s me; others may have more natural patience.)

    Good luck.

  14. brebecca says:

    Happy New Year! Your first with the little one…

    The thing about the curry is, if you weren’t worried about the spices, you’d be worried about the dust under your bed, or your mismatching silverware, or something equally irrelevant. A—- patched and painted two rooms in our rental apartment last week before our first social worker visit. And we briefly reorganized our living room before we realized why we had it the way we had it before (because it works). And we discussed, for hours (no kidding), whether and what we should eat for dinner since the social worker was showing up 15 minutes after we get home from work.

    Gotta love being neurotic – all the best people are. That would explain the stress about being late, too. Some things just won’t change, and it’s probably best to embrace them. If it’s the spices you’re worried about, so be it.

  15. Susan says:

    Going back to work is hard, and it won’t feel good until you know that Roo is OK with whatever childcare arrangements you have set up–and you won’t really know that for a few weeks/months, while everything settles in.

    I was home with Curious Girl for 7 months, and I loved, loved, loved that. But when I went back to work, I loved spending time with people who weren’t barfing on my shirts or shoes. I’m fortunate to have a job with flexible hours so I can still, often, arrange my schedule to be at her school for special things, and I spend a day home with her each week still. But working is good. I like that as part of my life. But I cried a lot the first few weeks I went back.

    Not sure what the advice is there,other than to give yourselves time to get used to things.

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