Sleep, glorious sleep

One of the rewards for flying a combined 2200 miles with a four-month-old and learning to be a (very temporary) single parent was Roo’s reaction to seeing NSG at the airport.

It’s been so much fun to watch him becoming more and more responsive, to hear him start to learn that he has a voice, to watch him master new tricks like rolling (for the first time on Thanksgiving day!).

But I didn’t realize quite how much he had changed until we got to the baggage claim and saw NSG, and he lost. his. tiny. mind.

Kicking his legs. Huge smiles. Squeals galore. Shaking his little fists. I’ve never seen a happier being, except for NSG in that same moment. Oh, I loved it. Everyone at the baggage claim was smiling at them.

And after falling apart, hardcore, before falling asleep the whole time we were gone, he fell asleep without a peep on NSG’s chest that night. In the morning, more kicking, more smiling, more squealing. Really, really cool.

Unfortunately the night in between was rough. I think he wasn’t sure he was really home, and that NSG was really there, so he woke up FOUR times. And this after three nights of the same, sleeping with me in a strange bed without one of his moms.

I started to lose it. The kid is yet to sleep through the night. When I went back to work, he employed that special sneaky infant survival trick and slept through until 4 or 5 every night. It was great. And then (and I guess this is normal) he regressed. Back to 2 feedings a night, or at least one feeding and one very loud announcement of “I need someone to hold me RIGHT NOW!”

I don’t necessarily expect him to sleep through, though my cousins all insist that the Babywise method (which is definitely not for us) got their kids sleeping through the night at 12 weeks, but getting back to one night waking would make a huge difference.

It’s getting harder than it was before, I think because my expectations were higher. Anyway, in desperation last night we moved him out of the co-sleeper and into the middle of our bed. He snuggled right in between us, touching our faces and putting his forehead up against our chests, and slept until FIVE.

Does this mean damned if we do, damned if we don’t?

I need sleep. Desperately. But I also want to snuggle with my wife. I don’t know if I wanted it to work or not. Should a girl have to choose between snuggling with her wife and getting enough sleep?

Oh, I know. This is hardly a real problem, and it’s certainly not a big one or even an unusual one. I’m just blowing off a little steam. But this morning I had to get an extra cup of coffee because I could hardly function at work, and then I spent half the day feeling like I was high because the caffeine buzz was so off the hook.

Stay tuned…


8 Responses to Sleep, glorious sleep

  1. Julie says:

    Don’t apologise for posting about sleep depravation. It’s a real problem. I hope it works out for you very, very soon–but no assvice from this party, as I’m not exactly qualified 🙂

  2. Erika says:

    I say that the first year is about survival. We let the Bug sleep in the bed when we were desperate. After that year, no more Mama’s bed and you will get to snuggle your honey forever. Or until the next infant. Hubby and I love each other loads more when we feel human, snuggles or no. I am sending you three some sweet dreams vibes.

    We didn’t like sleep training either. Until Bug was a year old and still waking up ever 3 hours. Seriously. I was nearly psychotic. You will be ready when you and Roo are ready and you will find the solution that works for your family. I have an adopted daughter and I took a much more “attachment” parenting approach with her than I did with my bio son. I don’t know why, I just think that is what each kid needed.

    Okay, I am rambling in your comment section. I will stop now.

  3. charlotte says:

    Nothing, and I mean nothing gets me more grumpy than my kid not sleeping. ANd I have to say that the hippy attitude we had the first time around, we will NOT be employing with #2. That kid will be crying it out, I tell you what. This from a co-sleeping, crunchy household. But no one could have convinced me of any cry it out method the first time around.

    Good luck getting some sleep!

  4. Jenn says:

    I have no advice about the sleeping thing except that every new parent I’ve known has gone through the same struggle. At least you have an excuse if you’re befuddled at work the next day. A friend of mine had a really hard time getting her newborn to sleep through the night for a fairly long time, and she just came to work telling everyone that she was going to have “Mom brain” until her little one let her sleep more.

    But my favorite part of this story was the baggage claim scene. I can just imagine it. SO CUTE.

  5. Sally Bowles says:

    What’s wrong with having the kid in your bed? You don’t like to sleep alone; neither does he. Why is this a problem?

  6. Erin says:

    I’m all for co-sleeping if it works and you actually get more sleep. Most, but not all, parents do. We couldn’t co-sleep since we have a waterbed; the few times I went to sleep with P on the guest bed, I couldn’t sleep for fear I’d roll onto him or something.

    Can you and NSG snuggle until Roo’s first waking, then bring him into the bed? It might lead to more sleep for all of you.

    As far as Babywise getting their kids to sleep through by 12 weeks, P slept through at 13 weeks with us being completely responsive to his needs. Many babies do. It usually seems to correlate with them hitting about 12+ lb in weight, when their tummies are big enough to hold the food to get them through that point. I’m not sure how big Roo is right now, but I’m sure it’s coming soon. The comfort waking will probably stop when he’s back in his normal routine again.

  7. katherine says:

    Oh… sleep! Right! What’s that again? My bug is coming up on two and still doesn’t sleep through the night very often. But, I’ll tell you that the best sleep we all used to get was when he was in bed with us. I worried that we wouldn’t EVER be able to get him into his own bed, but at around 6 months, he wanted more room to stretch out and moved very easily into his own crib. Sometimes I worry that things like hard nights will last forever, but then I think for a second and know that it’s all temporary. When Roo is a strapping 19 year old, he will not be snuggled between his two beloved mamas. One day at a time, friend. You’re doing such a great job! Oh, one book that helped was Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell… but who listens to advise from a mom who still gets up in the night with her baby? Seriously!

  8. Shannon says:

    Because I didn’t use anybody’s “method” but my own feelings, Nat didn’t sleep through the night until 10 months, when I held her without feeding her, while she squalled for a bottle (that she most certainly didn’t need and hadn’t been eating much of in weeks) during her nightly “feeding” wakings. Two or three days of that and she was sleeping twelve hours through.

    But your little guy is so little! I say do whatever you want and whatever you feel he needs. It gets much better, sooner than you realize and you’ll be back to adult snuggling before you know it.

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