Brain dump

I’m feeling really frustrated about finalization. Our agency sat around with their thumbs up their butts for more than 2 months not bothering to respond to our lawyer’s request for post-placement reports and other legal docs so that she could file for finalization. I’m thinking that since we already paid them we were no longer their priority. Hrumph.

The lawyer filed, forgot a document, filed that, spent 2 weeks fixing bizarre little things so that they were just the way this county wanted them. I found out today that they officially accepted our application 2 weeks ago – though we were eligible, and had our post-placement report in hand – on February 2nd. So we’re 2 weeks into a 2-3 month wait for a court date. Roo will be a year old at the end of July, and at this point it’s a race to see which will happen first.

I’m aggravated at myself that this is getting to me.  It’s nothing but bureaucratic nonsense – nothing legal. But I want this done. I want to stop being my son’s foster mom.


On another note, I can’t stop thinking about Mother’s Day. I’m surprised at how emotional I’m feeling about the whole thing. I’m excited that Mother’s Day is our day this year too, of course, and I’m busy thinking about the ways I can tell my wife what a beautiful, rockin’ mom she is.

But I can’t stop thinking about Miranda, about how much she’s probably dreading this Sunday. I’ve been writing her card in my head for weeks, trying to figure out how I can say thank you and tell her what she means to me without it sounding like I’m saying thank you for a birthday present. Roo was not a present to us. But he is a gift. Can I say that without sounding totally maudlin? It’s true. I don’t know how to tell her what I mean.


4 Responses to Brain dump

  1. dawn says:

    I think maudlin is ok — it’s hard to write from your heart about something this important and emotional without getting a bit treacle-y but it will mean a lot to her, I’m sure. Don’t let stagefright make it awful for you!!

  2. Lisa V says:

    I always think Mallory was not the gift, but Noelle gave the gift of motherhoood. She made me a mother when no one else did. That was the gift, and it was one we shared.

    Just write to her about what you are feeling. Your sincerety will carry you.

  3. Julie says:

    I don’t think it sounds bad at all–and I second Dawn’s suggestion. Write from the heart.

    (And I totally feel the same about being J’s foster mom, or whatever I am. I’m sick of carrying around the paperwork that everyone has to sign to prove that I actually take him to the doctor. I can not wait until it’s just all settled.)

  4. MichelleL says:

    I, too am pondering the whole Mother’s Day/Birthmother’s Day thing. Not sure what is best — because I know whatever I choose to do I’ll have to stick with it from here on out. I do want DD’s birthmom to know how much we think of her and how much we appreciate being given the chance to know and raise our wonderful DD. Still thinking on this . . .

    We actually finalized on Monday (DD is seven months) — and it was a very anxiety lifting experience. One less thing to worry about (and we were happy, too, of course). We ended up finalizing in the county where the agency is located — yes, it meant we had to travel, but the laws were more favorable for our particular issues and I knew that the attorney would be very familiar with the process and the court would be familiar with him. It went incredibly smoothly.

    I do hope you can get your date very soon.

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