July 28, 2007

Happy first birthday, baby love.

How did I get so lucky as to be your Mom?


Protected: Argh

July 27, 2007

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On the radio

July 27, 2007

Since open adoption has been occupying a huge proportion of my brain space these few weeks, I was happy to hear that NPR has been doing a week-long series called Adoption in America.

 They look at domestic, international, transracial, closed and open adoption from everyone’s perspectives. This morning, at the end of the series, they read a letter from a listener who relinquished her daughter in an open-in-theory/mostly-closed-in-reality (the first mom’s choice) adoption when she was 17. Now her daughter is 17, and she has been using the internet – including MySpace – for the past few years to quietly track her daughter’s progress. She didn’t want to interfere with her daughter’s life and so has hesitated to make contact, but recently read on her daughter’s MySpace page that she wants to meet her birthparents.

I feel breathless for this mom, and for her daughter. I wonder what it must have felt like to read that on her daughter’s MySpace page, after 17 years of keeping her distance?

All week I’ve been talking with my co-workers about seeing Roo’s first family. Their questions are a reminder for me of how many people without experience with open adoption think about it: Did you let his birthmother hold him? At what point can she no longer change her mind about the adoption? Weren’t you afraid when she saw him she would change her mind? Don’t you feel threatened by them? Was it sad that he looked like them and not like you?

I’m okay with these questions, though it makes me a little sad that those are the questions people need to ask. There’s a lot of work to be done here, clearly, but I’m happy to do it. I feel like it’s something we knew we were taking on when we decided to build our family this way.

Yesterday, though, I got a totally different kind of response from another co-worker who was asking me about how the visit went. I told her, and she wrote back with this story:

I have a very dear friend who adopted both of her daughters (now adults). The eldest went and “found” her birth mother several years ago after many many years of searching (with adopted mamma, one of my best friends, support). Well. she’s getting married in september and the invitation reads something like this:


adopted parents names


birth parents names

joyfully invite you to join us for the marriage of

our daughter,

daughters name


other person

son of so and so.


It is the most beautiful invitation (just because of the wording) that I have ever seen.  To witness two families coming together in the love of one child….. I can’t explain it. Anyway… the point is: YOU GO FOR IT.


Love. Her.

Food allergies?

July 25, 2007

We decided to switch Roo from formula to milk today, since we’re approaching the 12-month mark. We were told to just do it cold turkey and not bother weaning him gradually.

Well, the kid sucked down 3 ounces and his system promptly rebelled. I’ll spare you the grossness.

Pediatrician says it could be an allergy, but not necessarily, and recommended that we just wait a week and try again. He’s been on cow’s milk formula for months with no problems, and eats every and any kind of cheese he can get his hands on, so it makes sense that it wouldn’t necessarily be an allergy… but this was a pretty violent reaction.

Anyone have any experience with this? Assvice? Ideas?

Protected: Living it

July 23, 2007

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Made it

July 18, 2007

Made it to Crazy State relatively unscathed, despite the 2 1/2 hour flight with a jumping bean in my lap and the tearful-but-brave formerly-fearful flyer next to me (she rocked).

Tomorrow at noon: our get-together with Roo’s other (really, really extended) family. Head count is 17 as of now, all dying to get their hands on Roo.

As my high school chemistry teacher used to say, I don’t know if I want to kill myself or go bowling.

The most boring post EVAH

July 13, 2007

This is the kind of day when I am That Employee.

A few things have been crossed off my to-do list – for example, my voice mail says I’ll be out of the office, and my desk is clean – you know, the really pressing stuff. The reports, summaries, phone calls to return, documents to edit – this is a different story.

Whatever. I’m kicking time around until it’s respectably late enough for me to get out into this gorgeous day and officially begin my vacation.

I can’t wait to get Roo to his grandparents house. His personality is just exploding. In the last week, he’s said “dog” and “mama” (though sadly for me, Mama is the other one), and signed “finished,” “more,” and “thank you.”

Yesterday he figured out how to zerbert me. He would do it, look at my face, crack up, and do it again. 

This morning I zerberted him and he belly laughed and then signed “more.”

My kid is a freakin’ genius. No kid has ever accomplished such feats before.

Okay. That took about 5 minutes. Another 45 or so to go, I think. I’ve already exhausted I Can Has Cheezeburger, The Onion, and Go Fug Yourself. Also People and Us Weekly. I’m entering Dilbert territory.

Any suggestions?