This is it, my friends: my last post.
I moved to this blog a while back because the other one was not anonymous enough, and I purposely did not give this address to family members or close friends (the only exception being a handful of people I had met through blogging). Despite having a new address with no names attached to it – mine or anyone else’s – more than one person who I had understood would not be reading this blog has found it and identified me. Already one friendship took a hit because someone I asked not to read this blog did some detective work and found me. This friendship is only now beginning to recover.
This happened again recently, and several people are very hurt. I betrayed the trust of someone very important to me, and I don’t know what it will take to heal that. There will be plenty of fallout from this. And, to my formerly anonymous reader: I’m sorry. I don’t have better words for it right now. But I hope you know that I would never in a million years have done this on purpose, and I can’t begin to tell you how much I regret it.
I have counted – naively, obviously – on the anonymity of this blog when I have posted information here about my family, my friends, my marriage, and my son’s adoption. I know that everyone says that whatever you post on the internet is fair game, but obviously I didn’t listen carefully enough. So now I’ve hurt someone very important to me, and I’m also painfully aware that I put some things out there that I would not have shared with the person who has been reading this.
I’ve loved blogging. NSG has asked me why I can’t just keep a journal, but the feedback from other people and the connections I’ve made with other people have been at least as valuable as the opportunity to record pieces of my life. The support in particular around open adoption – the perspectives from first moms and from adoptive parents living open adoption – has been nothing less than life-changing for me, and I’m very grateful. There’s no way I could have made those kinds of connections outside the internets.
I’ll miss that, but the cost of doing this keeps going up, and it’s way too expensive now. So I’m out.