Enough already

January 4, 2008

Please, please, please: I am hardly Britney Spears’ biggest fan, and I cop to reading People magazine on line pretty much every day, but seriously: leave her alone. There are pictures on the internet that were taken from INSIDE THE AMBULANCE as she was hauled off to the hospital after a breakdown.

The woman has been in the spotlight since she was this big. She got rich fast and famous faster, had some less-than-perfect role models, and no one seems to believe that she can actually make good decisions for herself or her children. I’m not sure who wouldn’t down some pills and fall apart in those circumstances.

She’s ill. She’s made some really poor decisions for herself and her children. But quit blaming her for her current circumstances by naming all the reasons she “deserves” to be punished. Just give the woman a little breathing space, get her out of the limelight for a while. People – including people with drug and alcohol addictions – can do surprisingly good things when it’s actually expected of them.



Not that you were tempted to cast your vote for him…

December 12, 2007

From The Boston Globe:

Shortly before announcing his White House bid, Mike Huckabee told a gathering of Christian conservatives that he had the toughest position against gay marriage of any Republican candidate. “Unless Moses comes down with two stone tablets from Brokeback Mountain to tell us something different, we need to keep that understanding of marriage,” Huckabee said, referring to the movie about two gay cowboys.

This was the same day the news also broke that, 1992, he suggested “containing” people with HIV in order to contain the pandemic.


What would Supermom do?

December 11, 2007

I was walking around downtown Oakland, CA today, trying to get some blood flowing out of my ass and back into my brain after the cross-country flight, and I saw a mom and son have an argument.

He sneaked a cookie out of her bag and shoved it in his mouth. She turned around, saw him with the evidence, and whapped him one, sending him flying down the three concrete steps (he landed on his feet), and then screamed at him: godDAMNIT I told you not to eat any more of those FUCKING cookies! And on and on.

I’d guess he was 3. Four, maybe? He didn’t act surprised, so I’m guessing this is the usual MO. She had a tiny baby strapped to her in a Bjorn.

What I wanted to do was grab him and bolt. Here’s what I did instead: nothing. I was worried that if I said something to her it would make it worse for him. But it’s haunting me.

Crap. What would you have done in real life, or if you were Supermom?

Asswipe comment of the day

November 26, 2007

On a 40-seater plane on the runway in Cincinnati, Saturday night after Thanksgiving, with airport and plane sufficiently mobbed and overheated, Roo in my lap flirting with everyone around us between short lapses into sobbing, I-don’t-want-to-sit-still-anymore toddler tantrums, the flight attendant turns to the teenage boy across the aisle from us and says:

Well, that’s certainly a good argument to use birth control, isn’t it?


May 23, 2007

Because I’m lazy, this post is, as usual, cross-posted over at Lesbian Family dot Org.

Yesterday, the National Center for Lesbian Rights won a case they took on on behalf of the Butlers, a gay couple who had been denied the right to post their profiles on two different adoption sites (read specifics about their lawsuit against Adoption.com and ParentProfiles.com).

NCLR wrote:

As a result of yesterday’s settlement, Adoption.com and ParentProfiles.com agreed that they must either make their services available to all qualified prospective adoptive parents in California – regardless of their sexual orientation or marital status – or stop profiting from California consumers.


Well, it’s about time.

When NSG and I started out on the process to adopt our son, we made the mistake of looking at agencies on-line. We’re children of the 80’s: why wouldn’t we start with the internet? Turns out that a queer couple doing internet research on adoption is like going to Google med school in the middle of the night to look up why your throat is itching – by the time the sun comes up, you’ve not only convinced you’re dying of untreatable throat cancer, but you’ve already contacted 6 internet lawyers about drawing up a new will.

The profiles we saw, with few exceptions, were of couples who seemed to be straight, white, wealthy, church-going, and rich – with lovely lawns and beautiful golden retrievers. We were… well, white. We panicked.

In this vein, we started sending inquiries out at random to agencies that had any profiles posted of families who varied even just a little from the norm. We didn’t find any postings with queer couples in them, or even single people. What we wanted to know was: how would they handle our profile? Since we were planning on an open adoption, we needed to know that an agency would support us – not just tolerate us.

Here is my favorite response (and yes, I saved the email):

Dear Round:

Thanks for your inquiry. Yes, we are a very liberal agency and would be happy to work with you and your partner.

It is our policy that we would have you post your profile as a single woman looking to adopt. If a birthmom were to choose you to parent her child, we would of course encourage you to be honest with her about your sexual orientation and partnership status.

As you know, honesty is extremely important in an open adoption.

Best of luck to you, and please let me know how else I can be of assistance.


Agency Worker from Giant St*rb*cks-Like Adoption Agency


Where do I start? Naah, you can do it better. Have at it, gang.

Asswipe comment of the day, part 3 in a series

March 5, 2007

Yesterday we’re in a restaurant in the suburbs, refueling after a wild and crazy trip to Target.

NSG is holding Roo and being very silly, and he’s cracking up. They’re very sweet together, and they’re drawing admiring looks from baby-stalkers here and there in the restaurant. The woman sitting behind NSG looks at me and says “father and son?”

NSG freezes with the “not-this-again” look and I say “mother and son.” The woman, thinking I’ve misunderstood, says “no, him – is he the baby’s father?” And again I say, “no, she’s his mother.” So the woman gets up and comes around to see NSG’s face (I’ll grant that NSG has very short hair), as if she doesn’t believe me, and, embarassed, tries to cover her tracks by saying “my, don’t you two look alike!” as she gazes at my pale pale wife and mocha-colored baby. When NSG informs her he was adopted, the woman shrieks “TWO curve balls!” and immediately finds an excuse to be in another part of the restaurant.

Her tablemate tried to smooth things over by telling us over and over how cute Roo is, and then asking where we got such a cute baby. She’s floored when we tell her where he was born – because apparently such cute babies don’t come from the U.S.?

NSG’s only comment: “Honey, let’s get the HELL out of the suburbs.”